Anxiety and conflicts: a dilemma of an egg and a chicken

A dilemma that breaks the egg and boils the chicken alive

Photo by Christopher Ott on Unsplash

I always thought that my stress reaction was to stagger. Play a possum, play dead. Optionally smell like dead and hope those dangers will avoid you then.

Some events of the last year proved my understanding wrong.

I liked a term called “crippling anxiety.” It was ok to justify something — like, why did you choose not to act? Because I had a bad anxiety day and could not make a decision.

The reality turned a bit more complex than I expected. It’s pretty easy to confuse a consequence for a cause if you are trying to sort out yourself (our brain is pretty good at making excuses. Get a therapist. Or two. Or at least a friend to talk to).

Ok, let’s start with a baseline — anxiety and conflicts (or hard decisions) go hand-by-hand. I always thought that conflicts were giving me anxiety, and therefore, I was trying to avoid them.

God, I was wrong.

Ever been on a roller coaster? Jumped with a parachute? Confessed your love to anyone? You struggle before, and then you go with the flow. When the conflict occurs, the anxiety is no more. The decision is taken. The before and after.